December 6, 2010

Before You Touch My Boobs Please Warm Your Hands


Me in the charmingly small changing room

The annual Black Friday Boobie Bonanza was delayed. For the past four years, my bestie and I have signed up to have our annual mammogram on Black Friday.  I figured if you’re gonna be man-handled in public on Black Friday, might as well be for medical purposes. This year, though, we couldn’t go on Black Friday because all the slots were filled up. So we went on Saturday. No big deal really. I was still able to get in my requisite boob squishing during the Black Friday-Cyber Monday shopping frenzy. So all is still right in the world!

I had my first mammogram when I was 30. My grandma had a single radical mastectomy due to invasive breast cancer so I figured I’d better hightail myself to my nearest imaging center for this womanly right of passage that ranks right up there with starting your period. Weird. Uncomfortable. Awkward.

When my health insurance started covering mammography from the Mobile Onsite Mammography van I was excited. Yah, I know. I need to get a life if I was excited about a mobile mammogram center.  But really I was. I figured these people would be fast. No giant office to wander around and waste time. Just a tiny waiting area so they couldn’t let us sit there for hours while they did whatever it was ‘in the back’.

Seriously, it takes me longer to fill out the paperwork than it takes the technician to actually take the images. These imaging techs are lightening fast! And I don’t mind. The little room in which one must ‘remove all clothing from the waist up and put on the pink coverup with the opening to the front‘ is charmingly small. Imagine the smallest dressing room you’ve been to at a store and then cut it in half not once, but twice. And that’s what I mean by ‘charmingly small’.

Once in the imaging area these techs (in my case all have been women) are all business. I get 6 panels done and, seriously, I’m out and back in the charmingly small dressing room in about 10 minutes. That’s if we don’t start talking about whatever randomness pops into my head. Because, well, when one is in the situation whereby one is basically naked from the waist up you’ll talk about all kinds of random randomness. This time we were talking about buying earrings online. Riveting. Yet, distracting. From. The. Cold. Hands.

I know these rooms are cold. I know they have to be cold because the machines give off a lot of heat. Blah, blah, blah. Yah, whatever. But don’t you own a pair of Isotoner gloves? Or how ’bout those square hand heater things for being out in the cold? Either of those would be really appreciated. I mean, it’s my boobie and all and, well, that fancy pink paper jacket you so generously provide free-of-charge in the charmingly small room just doesn’t keep me warm when it’s like 45 degrees in the room.

For those of you who haven’t yet had a mammogram, you’re in for a treat. I highly suggest the mobile unit if your community has them. Otherwise, bring a good book. Like Harry Potter, or something along the length of that book.

I may joke, but breast cancer is no laughing matter. It’s in my family, which is why I had my first mammogram at 30. If you are 40 or older, please make sure you get your annual mammogram. Plan a party with your friends and all get your mammograms on the same day then go out. Martini’s and Mammograms? Oooh, that could be a side business for me!

If anyone in your immediate family has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and you’re under 40, talk to your doctor about getting screened.

Do you do anything fun when you get your mammogram? Or, will you now try to make it more of an ‘event’. I’m serious about this whole Martini & Mammograms thing!

This post is linked to Robin’s Mingle Monday on Add a Pinch.



Kim P. December 6, 2010 at 7:43 am

OMG Sara…you are making me laugh!~ Being a technologist, I deal with this daily. I wish we could wear Isotoner gloves…but then I really couldn’t feel your body well enough to make sure I have what anatomy I need! I love the idea of us putting our hands against little square heaters; if only management would allow it. I feel your pain and hear about it all the time! I have suggested that our dressing rooms be toasty and allow our patients to be able to wait there for most of the time but it falls on death’s ear. I love that you do your exam on Black Friday, what a great way not to forget your exam!

Becca - Our Crazy Boys December 16, 2010 at 7:20 pm

I’m more of a Margaritas & Mammograms kind of gal, but seriously… if margaritas were involved, I would totally start now. 🙂

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