December 17, 2010

Looking Back. Looking Forward.


photo credit: Mattu76

Birthdays are often a time to reflect. And also look forward. To what the next year might bring. As a mom, it’s often a time to wax nostalgic about what it was like before your child was born. And the birth and those first few weeks. It seems like a blurr, yet some days it’s like looking into the clear ice of one of those fancy ice sculptures.

Today BabyGirl is 8. So much has happened. The days of sleeplessness are still part of life as I try to get everything done each day. The joy of snuggling with her can make any challenging day wash away. The giggles. The laughter. The VERY. LOUD. Singing! It all comes together on days like today to be all mushy and sentimental.

She’ll rip open the cards and move on to the gifts. She’s 8, she’s excited. But she’ll want to call the person if they’re not there to thank them right away. She has no special requests. When I asked her what she wanted she just told me that she wants to go back to the Boudin Bakery in San Francisco and take the factory tour. Maybe go to Alcatraz if we have time. That’s it. I’m sure she wants stuff, but she has so much and she knows it.

I think about how different she looks, acts, talks, dresses. She’s not a baby any more. But I tell her she’ll always be my baby. It’s something my mom always told me.

Her birthday though, isn’t just for her. It’s for me too. To realize how everything is always new. She’s my first and my only. There is no ‘do over’. It’s a learning experience for her as much as it is for me. And I look back so that I can figure out those things that I can do better. Because I’m sure there will be new stumbling blocks ahead.

I look forward to all the new things we can do because she is older. All the cool things we couldn’t do yet but are more easily within our reach. Some of the dreams she has for ‘when I’m older’ can become a reality. It’s her Someday list. A list I don’t want her to pull out in 30 years and wonder why things aren’t crossed off.

I think this year I’ll have her do a vision board. Not only would it be a fun project to work on together but I would like to see what she has planned for the next year so I can help her achieve it by providing her with the opportunities she needs. I would also like her to see that even grown ups do this too, so I’ll do one also. I foresee this year being her Year of Awesome too!



Hollee December 17, 2010 at 7:47 am

What a beautiful post! I totally love the vision board. I’m doing it with my boys when we homeschool in the fall:)

Ariana December 17, 2010 at 11:40 am

Happy birthday to your 8 year old. I totally understand how you feel. My older boy turned 21 in November and it was bitter sweet and so, so tough on me. Enjoy her as long as you can!!!

Kate @ Songs Kate Sang December 17, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Oh, happy birthday sweet baby girl! I hope your day is filled with rainbows!

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