You know that if Barbie was real she’d be like 8 feet tall and have a waist the size of your wrist, right? And bewbies the size of a small Hawaiian island. Yes? I know that’s not totally true, but it’s close. But we’re on the same page, correct?
When you last went shopping did you have to try on 5 different sizes, depending on the store, designer, piece of clothing? I went shopping this past weekend – I know, it was a miracle – and got so frustrated. I’m no skinny-minnie and I’m working on being more comfortable in my skin. But, seriously, nothing is more dejecting than grabbing the same size I’ve been wearing for 3 years only to have to wriggle and squirm to end up looking like a kielbasa gone wrong.
Spanks couldn’t save this experience. I’d have to wear something more akin to a spanks-atard from my neck to my knees. Talk about wanting to cry. And I won’t even discuss those fun-house mirrors they put in women’s dressing rooms. It was terrible. I tried on a dress that I knew should be too big because I have a hard time fitting my hips so it doesn’t look like it’s pulling. Instead, it was horrible! The cut was huge on top and could barely fit the bottom half of me.
What’s wrong with designers? I’m not sure what kind of fit models they’re using, but I’m not sure if they’re real women. I know we all come in different shapes, but this fit model must not have hips or a butt or thighs.
So I put the dress back on the hanger knowing I won’t be buying it, despite it being pretty, purple – my favorite color after black – and on super amazing 65% off clearance. It was going to be great! Until it wasn’t.
Next up was a casual dress from a designer I already have one dress from. In the same size. So imagine my surprise when I put on what I had hoped to be another dress which would kept me off ‘What Not To Wear’ for at least another month only to be disappointed and left wondering if maybe I grabbed the smaller size. But I didn’t and I’m left feeling down. I’m trying to lose weight. I’m seeing result and then I’m left feeling dejected by a letter or number on a tag.
Who are these people making clothes? Why can’t a size be a size be a size? Why do I have to play ‘Fit or No Fit’ in the dressing room?
This is why I buy shoes!