November 12, 2010

Mommy Needs Some Me Time

by

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photo credit: Lucy Boynton

Last night I spent the evening with a hand full of moms from my homeschool group. We try to get together every month or so for an evening we call LMNOP – Leisurely Moms Night Out, Please!  Cute, huh?

One of the moms in our group has a mobile pottery painting business.  It’s so cool because we get to hang out in her studio and have food and wine and music and just paint and chat and laugh. Just us girls. And boy was it needed. I’m thankful that I have a great friend who will watch BabyGirl so I can do this for me.

One ended up with talking about how some women weren’t able to come because their husband doesn’t see this as necessary.  Sure, not every mom needs to go paint pottery. But it’s not the pottery painting, it’s the community of women supporting other women that we seek. It’s a time for us to laugh and vent and ask questions. We can relax. We don’t have to be on our toes attending to other people, unless we want.

Sure we end up talking about our kids. It’s natural. But we really missed the women who couldn’t attend because their husband didn’t see this time with other women as an integral part of his wife’s mental health and well-being. Even though CycleGuy is working out of state and traveling a bit, he fully supports my need for ‘Mom Time’ or Me Time. I’m glad he does. And I appreciate that he values what I do and sees that spending time away from him and our daughter is important not only for me but also for our family.

As a homeschooling mom to an only child I spend A LOT of time with BabyGirl. Many people have no idea how I do it. It’s all I know so it’s how I roll. But being MOM 24/7 doesn’t mean that I don’t exist. Every job allows some down time. I think being a mom is such an important job that if I don’t have time to myself to refresh and renew my inner self I’m not at my best. The other women last night felt similarly. It may be a struggle to fit it all in, but we all agreed that having some ‘Mom Time’ was one of the ways we can stay on top of our game.

While we get that some guys are just jerks, it’s hard to understand how a dad can’t see that his wife needs time with other like minded women. I’m not sure of the reasoning the men take. Is it that we homeschool and interact with other moms at co-op or park day. Maybe they see that as sufficient ‘me time’. Except that we’re likely teaching or assisting at co-op and park day is no free-for-all because we need to keep an eye on the kids and still be ‘on’.

If it’s been awhile since you got together with your girlfriends or, if you’re the dad reading this and your wife hasn’t has time away with her friends then take time to check the calendar. Plan time to meet with your friends, even if it’s just an hour or so.  You’ll be glad you did!

Sara

{ 7 comments }

Becca - Our Crazy Boys November 12, 2010 at 8:08 am

That makes me sad – that guys would think or even say that about their wives. It’s SO necessary to get out every once in a while 🙂

Vdemetros November 12, 2010 at 9:49 am

I wonder how these guys grew up. Sometimes it’s just that their mothers never took time for themselves, or at least never voiced that they needed it. We need to teach our boys at a young age that women need time to be with friends just as much as they need their “guy time” watching football or playing golf. It ‘s important to show our kids that we need Mom Time and that it makes us better mothers.

Kate @ Songs Kate Sang November 12, 2010 at 7:45 pm

I am so thankful for a husband that gives me time. The pottery sounds amazing! You’ll have to show me what you did 🙂

Sara November 12, 2010 at 11:42 pm

Thank you, ladies! I’m glad I have such wonderful and supportive women helping me get through life. ~ Sara

TracyC November 14, 2010 at 10:30 am

I love our LMNOP’s. I find it very sad that some can’t participate because of extremely selfish husbands. The break is MUCH needed…whether you have one or ten children. Sanity is very important when parenting!

Honey November 18, 2010 at 12:54 am

You are so right about needing me time and mom time. As the homeschool mama to five littles, most of my time is spent schooling or tending to them or household stuff. I hardly ever get to use the restroom alone or sleep a full night without one or both of the twins wanting to snuggle all night long.

My me time is late at night when the house is quiet and I can hear myself think, but I always pay for it the next day when the kids wake up before the sun.

I am glad you enjoyed your LMNOP time. Great acronym by the way.

Blessings
Honey

Sara November 18, 2010 at 11:16 am

Honey, you do need some ME time! It’s hard though when your kids are very young, I think. They need mom a lot and even though you’re home with them it’s hard to help them understand that mom needs a few mental health moments. So glad you visit my blog and share your insight and thoughts.

Sara

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