June 10, 2010

My Husband Is Leaving Me, Sorta


Is it OK to be excited that CycleGuy is moving?  Without me and BabyGirl.  Wait, back up.  That sounds very wrong.   Wrong indeed.  So let me start from the beginning.

A few weeks ago, CycleGuy was offered an amazing job with a great company.  In San Francisco.  California.  No, we don’t live there already.

Yes, when he interviewed for the job we knew it would be in the San Francisco area.  And, yes, we were well aware that he could really get the offer.  And yes, we realized what it would mean if he did get the job.  And, like I said, he did get the job.

We’ve had about 2 weeks to figure out this whole move thing.  If the housing market wasn’t ‘depressed’ maybe we’d do the traditional thing and sell our house and move up with him.  If wishes were fishes …..

Instead, we’re the face of the new generation of modern professionals.  BabyGirl and I will be staying put for now while CycleGuy heads to his new job.  Not perfect, but for now it’s optimal.  Given that BabyGirl is heavily involved in swim team, violin and french classes I don’t want to uproot her without being able to replant.

I understand the new arrangement and will make the best of it.  I feel, though, like CycleGuy is being relocated as part of the witness protection program because it’s all happening so fast.  At the same time, I’m hoping that I’ll do OK with this part-time single parent gig. Although, between Twitter, Facebook, Skype, iChat and every other possible form of instant communication it will kinda be like he’s here.  Sorta.  Right?

I plan on focusing on the positive things, such as being able to go to San Francisco frequently (Have I mentioned it’s not 100 degrees and HOT there) and exploring both as a tourist and a future resident.  I’m sure technology will be a teaching tool so that BabyGirl and CycleGuy can continue to be ever-present in each others daily lives.   Actually, I’m sure BabyGirl will master all this technology before I do, so I’ll probably be taking lessons from her.  Hope she doesn’t charge much!

I’m beyond thrilled at having the opportunity to ‘move back’ to California as well as watch CycleGuy glow in a job that was tailor made just for him.  I’m sure there will be bumps along the way, but we’ll get past them.  I can’t say that I won’t want to pull my hair out some days or scream out of frustration.  Hopefully, though, with a simple tweet or text or facebook post life will be as normal as normal can be for the new face of the modern professional family.

Sourdough, anyone?



Amy @ Dealusional June 10, 2010 at 6:02 am

Congratulations! We lived in East Bay for a while a number of years ago. I worked in Walnut Creek, dh worked at the Embarcadero. So nice, but the traffic and housing prices got to us after a while and we moved to Seattle. Because, you know, it’s so much cheaper there.

Kim P. June 10, 2010 at 9:40 am

I am so happy that cycle guy found a great opportunity! We moved to the Bay Area two years ago but found it difficult in so many ways (the usual, traffic, cost of housing, paying 2 houses at the same time…) but I am so glad we tried it. I got to work in a dream job…at Stanford. I sure do miss that job. I hope at some point you do sell your house so you guys can all be together again. I know that you will make this work. Everything worth while takes work, effort and patience! All skills you possess as a lawyer (and of course, Mother and Wife)! But just to let you…I’m not ready for you to move! Our friendship just started.

Cycleguy June 10, 2010 at 10:42 am

Sweetie I ain’t moving I am just going on an extended business trip! My home is and will always be by your & Babygirls side. Thank you for allowing me to take you on another adventure. And yes there are obstacles and roadblocks in our path but really if it was easy would we really feel as good when we succeed?

BabyGirl June 10, 2010 at 1:41 pm

I love the part about if wishes were fishes. I think that I will handle all of this moving stuff, but for now I’m just going to stay put with you, as you said. I hope we will live forever and ever in California because I really, probably, will like it there. I’m a Disneyland nut!

Best wishes,


V Demetros June 10, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Wow, big changes. I know you’ll do fine, although things will seem strange. If you need anything, just let me know.

Renae @ Madame Deals June 10, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Hey Sara,
I had no idea you had all of this going on! Sorry for being so out of touch! You have a great attitude and it sounds like a wonderful opportunity!
Take care!

Starving Student Survivor June 10, 2010 at 7:33 pm

My husband leaves town for a few weeks every summer. Yes, Skype is amazing, but it’s still hard. I hope the “separation” doesn’t last long for your family.

The Stiletto Mom June 10, 2010 at 9:10 pm

So sad you guys will be apart, but happy for the job opp! Think how much you will enjoy visiting in that cool weather in August!



Sara June 10, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Hi TSM! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your support. I’m definitely looking forward to having a place to go to cool down. I look at this new experience as an adventure. Besides, it’s not much different than if he lived here and traveled as much as he will. Redefining ‘normal’. Besides, it’s not for ever!


The Stiletto Mom June 10, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Also, OMG, CycleGuy and Babygirl comments. You have an amazing family!

Koni Gould June 11, 2010 at 6:46 am

Wow! Big changes and adjustments. But if I know you, you will roll with them just fine. Not that you won’t have your down moments – that’s what we’re here for – but the separation will only make the reunion that much sweeter. We’re praying that it won’t be for too long, though! 🙂 And we will be sad to see you go 🙁 But hurrah to new and exciting destinations and adventures!

Honey June 12, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Hi Sara,

Wow! Big changes in your life right now. The Year of Awesome continues. I am so glad that our friendship will continue no matter where you live (because you don’t live near me now anyways!).


Jody from Mommy Moment June 12, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I am sure it will all work out better than you expect it too!
How old is your little one?
Our 4 year old is in French classes, just finished swim team, and has violin registration in a week 🙂

Thought that was ironic LOL


Cherees June 14, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Finding a great job that fits is really hard now a days so Congrats for him an awesome job. We had to do the same thing when my baby girl was less than 2yrs old and she would shuffle between us because I had the job and my husband was moving us to Oklahoma to start our own business. It worked out but I sure didn’t want to leave my job to move to the middle of no where. It worked out and now he has that awesome job and we are in MS. It always seems that the Lord takes you where you least expect it too. 🙂

Sara June 14, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Hi Cherees,

Thank you for your lovely comment and the support. I know that the success of this experience will depend on our attitude and our willingness to be flexible and try new and different ways of problem solving. I’m so glad to hear from someone who has done this recently and been successful. We lived apart when I was in grad school and then again when I was finishing law school and he took a job in OH. But, times were different and the company and economy were flush with money and the company took care of the temporary housing and helping us sell our house and packing and all that good stuff. Now, that’s not the case. But the job is just too fantastic not to try and make it work. Everything will come together, I’m sure it will!


Laura June 15, 2010 at 5:51 am

I have no idea how but I totally missed this. OMG! Congrats to CycleGuy and you. I’m sure once you figure this out it will be great for you and your family. And I’d much rather visit SF ;-)!

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