May 27, 2010

Patience Takes Practice

by

Patience. I like to believe I have plenty of it but some days I’m sorely lacking even an ounce.  There are times when I have more than my share and it’s an amazing feeling when those days coincide with days having to do things like go to the post office, wait online at a store or even drive in traffic.

I’ve have noticed though that there seems to be an inverse relationship to my store of patience with certain people I come in contact with.  I’m not the only one, right?  Some people just seem to suck all the patience out of you too, yes?  Oh, good!  I feel more normal then.

Wednesday was a relatively normal day for me, but for some reason – hunger, tired, hot, cold, thirsty, stupidity, who knows! – I lost my patience with BabyGirl. More specifically, during violin practice.  We are students of the Suzuki Method and I am the home teacher.  And today I would have disappointed Dr. Suzuki.  I was not the patient sensei (teacher) that I should have been and our practice devolved into a battle of wills.  And I wasn’t about to lose to a 7-year old.

Mind you I didn’t say anything mean or rude or anything like that.  But instead of being patient and allowing her to break down a triple-stop trill (that is playing 3 notes at the same time while quickly moving one finger so it sounds like the note is being played 10 or more times) because BabyGirl was playing the wrong note, I began to get frustrated that she was making the same mistake over and over on a piece she mastered over 5 months ago and has played 50 or more times.  She wasn’t listening and was getting argumentative.  I failed as her teacher.

Dr. Suzuki was known for having students perform a simple task thousands of times — but those thousands of times would occur over an extended period of time.  I kind of left out that last part.  And I kept having BabyGirl go back over and over the same thing, all the while both of us were getting more and more frustrated.

I should have just stopped.  Ending it would have been better than forcing something that wasn’t happening. I had already lost my patience.  There was no turning back.  I was like the Titanic and couldn’t be diverted away from the iceberg.

I’m horrible at meditation.  I can’t sit still very long. I am impatient. And I am imperfect.  But I recognize these things.  And while I didn’t take the time to see it while it was happening, I know I made a mistake.  And next time (yes, I know there will be a next time) I hope to handle the situation much better.

In the mean time, I think I will channel Mr. Miyagi and practice the art of patience.

Sara

{ 6 comments }

Kelsey May 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Hey I just found your website today and i am excited to have found someone with a useful blog now that I moved to AZ. I lived in the Seattle area before so my old website I used won’t work for around here. I am excited to start couponing again!

Sara May 27, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Kelsey,

Welcome! Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment. And, welcome to Arizona! I hope that I can help you save for your somedays and all the other days too. If you have any questions, please let me know.

Kindest Regards,
Sara

Kim P. May 27, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Sara….you’re just a regular normal mom. Although, we would like to think we’ll always have patience; especially with our kids; this is just asking the impossible from ourselves. Plus, kids gain something when they see we get impatient. One: that this is just a moment in time and this moment of impatience will pass. Two: that we do have moments that are hard for us (moms) too. Three: we get to apologize to them for our behavior. They really learn how to apologize from us; when we apologize to them. Very powerful stuff! You are so Normal!!!!

Sara May 27, 2010 at 7:46 pm

Kim,

Thank you for your beautiful comment. It means so much knowing you speak from experience and not from just wanting to make me feel good. What’s weird is that I have friends who say they would never apologize to their child b/c they are the parent. Good Grief! I’m not perfect. And, you’re right in saying that they learn from our apology to them.

Kindly,
Sara

Kate @ Songs Kate Sang May 27, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Dear Sara,

Thank you so much for sharing. It is nice to know that I am not the only mom who struggles with that. You are doing so great just being aware of what you are doing and vowing to work on it. Thank you for being a great example to all of us!

Honey May 27, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Hi Sara,

You are definitely not the only one to lose your patience. I am pretty sure most moms have at some point or another, whether they admit to it or not. I also think it is important to apologize to our kids when we have made mistakes. Taking the step to do this is a very important part of teaching them how the world works. You make a mistake and/or hurt someone and you take the time to apologize to them and make it right if you can.

Blessings
Honey

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