June 20, 2010

Reflections of Father’s Day

by

BabyGirl and her Daddy, 2003

I never had a dad.  It’s not a big deal, so don’t feel sad or anything.  I’m fine with it.  My biological father was out of my life shortly after I was born.  Most likely a good thing given what I know of him.  And, honestly, my mom was a pretty awesome mom that I never felt like I was missing out.  Plus there was my grandpa, who, according to my mom and my uncle, was a pretty great father.  And a very special grandpa.

I never needed a dad.  I was fortunate to have good male role models who were able to be a father-figure whenever I felt I might need one, which wasn’t very often.  See, often you don’t miss what you don’t have so it truly wasn’t a big deal.  Then my mom remarried and at age 11 all of a sudden I had a step-father.

His name was Charlie.  I never called him ‘dad’.  It never felt right. Although I always introduced him to my friends as ‘my dad’, I always called him Charlie.  He didn’t mind. Well, I don’t think he minded. Afterall, he was new to the ‘dad’ thing too.  Charlie had never been married before he married my mom so on that day, he not only got a wife but a teenage son and a pre-teen daughter. He hit the family lottery, didn’t he?  While I say that very tongue-in-cheek, if you ever had the opportunity to ask him, Charlie would say he did hit the family lottery. He really did love us, regardless of the fact that both my brother and I were not very pleasant at times. Typical teenager stuff, really.

But Charlie was never a ‘dad’ in the sense of having that special bond or that connection that often exists between a daddy and his daughter.  To me he was Charlie.  And while I loved him dearly, he was more of a friend than a father.  Part of that probably came from being a step parent and what that meant in the 1980s.  Some of it might have been that he was in his 40s and went from being single to instant father of teenagers very quickly.  Whatever it was, he was just Charlie.

I don’t remember doing anything special for Father’s Day.  Father’s Day was usually spent with my grandpa anyway, and my uncle didn’t have kids so it was more of a celebration for my grandpa.  I don’t really remember Father’s Day being all that big of a deal really.

So here I am with an amazing husband who is truly a phenomenal daddy to a little girl that adores him. I work hard to make Father’s Day special for him because he deserves it, and so does BabyGirl. They both deserve the memories of the great Daddy/Daughter relationship they have.

On this Father’s Day, I look at the man I married who is a fantastic daddy and hope that years from now both he and BabyGirl will be able to call up fond memories of Father’s Day. This year it will be memorable because BabyGirl and I will be spending the day with CycleGuy in San Francisco. But it will be bittersweet as he drops us off at the airport to return to Arizona while he stays in the Bay Area for work. It will be part of the memories. Good Memories.

Any man can become a father.
Only the special ones can be a Daddy.

Happy Daddy’s Day, CycleGuy!

We don’t all have the same memories or ways of celebrating, so how are you celebrating or remembering Father’s Day?

Sara

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