Creating New Thanksgiving Traditions

Creating Thanksgiving TraditionsAs we approach the Thanksgiving holiday social media is a constant feed of traditional foods, stories of family tradition dating back to ‘as long as I can remember’, and reminders of open spaces at our tables. As a proud Jewish American family, Thanksgiving figured prominently when I was growing up. It was a time for family and close friends to gather at my grandparent’s house. And there were always new faces ever year, young people who were away from home. Strangers, one would say. But in my grandparent’s home, no one was a stranger. These were my Thanksgiving traditions.

There was no separate kids’ table. Everyone sat together. Formal dining table next to however many folding tables and chairs were needed. The good china and crystal gleamed on the table, for kids and adults alike. The kitchen table was overflowing with desserts of all types. Traditional Pumpkin Pie, check. Sweet Potato Pie, got that too. Cookies, there was a wide assortment. Candies and chocolates, both store-bought and homemade were carefully displayed on beautiful trays. My  grandma was an entertainment goddess. Didn’t matter if there were 10 or 300 (her biggest Passover Seder had over 300!), she made it look so effortless and made everyone feel welcome.

My grandma passed away in 2013. She was in the hospital on Thanksgiving of that year. I had begun prepping the night before, not knowing my grandmother wasn’t feeling well. On Thanksgiving morning, as I was organizing my cooking schedule I got a call telling me my grandma was in the hospital. You don’t simply drop a list-full of food and hope it magically is prepared when you return. Honestly, I don’t even know what we did for Thanksgiving dinner that year. All I remember is being at the hospital, talking to doctors about final plans, making decisions I didn’t want to make, and hoping that I wouldn’t be saying my final good-byes that day.

Thanksgiving 2014 came along, not quite a year after my Bubbe died. I wasn’t in the mood to make a big dinner and spend my entire day in the kitchen. There wasn’t going to be a house full of people. Maybe years ago, but not that year. There would be 5 of us because Grandpa Tommy was not close enough to join our family gatherings.

Long ago, when it was just CycleGuy and me, we decided to have Thanksgiving dinner at a local resort. It was more of a way not to hurt anyone’s feelings because back then, in our early 20s, we were a young couple and had been invited to various homes for the holiday. Rather than having to choose, we had dinner by ourselves then made the rounds to our friends’ homes to laugh, have dessert, play games, and, of course watch sports on TV.

In 2014, I felt like the tradition of a big family gathering wasn’t much of a tradition. I would spend two days cooking and many more cleaning, for what would be a fancy, but still not-too-long dinner. BabyGirl didn’t have expectations of any specific experience. For her, really, it was just another day. Her traditions were more connected to the morning hike with her dad and an evening of playing games and eating dessert. It didn’t help that my last Thanksgiving memory was filled with beeping machines and the smell of industrial cleaners.

CycleGuy suggested we go out for Thanksgiving. I can’t even tell you if anyone had invited us over, because I don’t remember. Thanksgiving 2014 was the first year my whole family was gone. No grandparents, no mom, no uncle. Of course I had CycleGuy and BabyGirl, AuntZoni and Grandpa Tommy. But if all the family you grew up with is gone, you understand. I hope you don’t, though.

This year we’re going out for Thanksgiving. It’s become our tradition. I make a few things, those favorites you want as leftovers. But instead of spending days in the kitchen we spend time together. There is the annual Daddy/Daughter hike, followed by the cajoling to practice violin. (Music moms, you know my pain!) We talk, we look at ads, we watch parades on TV. I cook and bake at leisure, knowing that dinner is going to be ready when we are.

I was talking with a friend, recently, about Thanksgiving traditions and mentioned that I wonder if our going out to dinner will leave BabyGirl feeling empty when she’s away at college and friends talk about their family Thanksgiving traditions. Will she feel like she missed out on a house full of people eating, talking, laughing? Will she feel like her experience of getting dressed up and going to a resort make her not fit in? I started wondering about the traditions I’m creating for her. My friend didn’t really offer much, other than to say that traditions are what you make of them. Some people’s big family Thanksgiving isn’t really a fond memory. A tradition. A memory. But not necessarily good.

I have great memories of Thanksgiving at my grandparent’s house. But those are my memories. It’s not for me to recreate those. It’s more about creating experiences around Thanksgiving, no matter what they are, that fill BabyGirl with joy, love, happiness, appreciation, and gratitude. And if going out for dinner on Thanksgiving does that, then there’s nothing wrong with creating this new tradition.

May your table be filled with your favorite foods and surrounded by your favorite people. However you celebrate, I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving!

If you’d like to share how you celebrate, I’d love to know!


Holiday Traditions With Food

Holiday Foods

Thank you to Safeway for sponsoring this post and asking me to share
my thoughts on holiday traditions.

Mention any holiday and pretty soon we’re talking about food. Food comes into the conversation as memories from childhood, treats for teachers or co-workers, desserts we’ve always wanted to make, or all the delicious delights for a cookie exchange. Food is a universal connector, even when it’s not your holiday.

Growing up, Hanukkah was spent either at my grandparent’s house or at the Jewish Chapel on base. There were latke parties, games of dreidle, and lots of laughter. But, ultimately, we all came for the latkes. Holiday traditions for Hanukkah almost always feature latkes. And while latkes are really very simple to make, for some reason they’re almost always reserved for Hanukkah. The debate around how latkes should be made and eaten can lead to heated conversations and great divides among friends. It’s hard to understand how two simple toppings – applesauce and sour cream – can cause grownups to argue.

These holiday traditions, some new and some passed down for generations, keep us connected. Maybe it’s to a more simple past or fond memories. Or maybe it’s new traditions to take the place of those we don’t feel connected to. Either way, as holidays come around we strive to create some meaning in what we do, what we serve, and how we observe.

As I walked up and down the aisles at the store, I hear people talking about the meal or appetizers they’re going to make. It’s fun to hear kids talk about making cookies or helping in the kitchen. Even though I don’t celebrate Christmas, one of my fond memories of childhood is making Christmas cookies with my mom. We’d make 10 or so different kinds and she’d package them up for her coworkers, the postman, the ladies in the office at school, neighbors and friends. Lots of cookies for lots of people. It’s something I really miss and just haven’t been able to recreate.

One thing I have been able to recreate is making sure others have food for the holiday. Even though we didn’t have a lot, my mom always made sure we gave food baskets to others who were in need. Some years it was adding to the canned food drive. Other years it was an “adopt a family” type program. This year, Safeway provided me with a gift card to share. I was able to ensure that several Jewish families would be able to have kosher food for Hanukkah. Often overlooked, it’s important to me that religious Jewish families are able to maintain their observance even though times are tough. Luckily, the Safeway stores have excellent kosher-food sections and the prices are very good. Doing good deeds, especially around the holidays are a wonderful way to multiply joy.

If you’re thinking of new food traditions – maybe it’s cinnamon rolls to greet the kids, fluffy biscuits for breakfast, or delicious hummus for snacking – now is always a great time to start. Sharing food is a wonderful way to show your love. What are your favorite holiday foods and traditions?

From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!


Photo Credit: Coffee and festive Xmas doughnuts by is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. Image edited.