Halloween, I’m Just Not That Into You

Jack O Lantern BabyGirl and CycleGuy carved

OK, so hate is a pretty strong word. But, really, I don’t like Halloween. I don’t know exactly what it is about Halloween that bothers but the whole idea of it just weirds me out. I like the candy though. Something about the tiny candy makes eating a fist full much less depressing. The costumes, the going trick or treating. I could do without it. Although, I DO like passing out the candy. And I LOVE the Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween party at Disney World and secretly hoped that by going to that party BabyGirl would think that regular Halloween was lame and wouldn’t want to do it.

BabyGirl in her fab Halloween costume - almost 2 yrs old

I didn’t grow up doing Halloween. Does one ‘do’ Halloween? I’m not sure but that’s the verb I’m using.  I used to think it was a Jewish thing but it’s not. Lots of Jewish people participate in Halloween. My grandparents didn’t allow my brother or me to go out trick or treating so we stayed home and handed out candy. We did it to be neighborly, I guess.  When it was all done and the candy bowl was empty, the light would get turned off and we’d do our best not to whine about everyone else having candy and we don’t.

Another thing, I also don’t like scary movies. Anything other than Scream is a no-go. And even though I was (and still am) a huge Michael Jackson fan, it took me a few times to get through Thriller without being scared. Haunted houses? Don’t like them. Masks that cover people’s faces, nope! I know, call me weird but I just don’t get in to the holiday.

Sure there are cute corpse brides and the fairies and princesses. But, still, me and Halloween are definitely not ‘like that’. I don’t get the whole dressing up thing. Especially don’t understand the psychology behind dressing like a prostitute disguised as any form of something else – maid, policewoman, nurse, vampire. You name it and if it can be ho’d up it will.

I buy the good candy because I fear that we’ll be egg’d or something like that. And I buy plenty so that we’re one of the last houses to run out. Again so we’re not that house. For a person who doesn’t like Halloween, I sure do make sure we’re protected from the goblins, don’t I.

Add to this mixture a little girl. While other moms are trying to cajole their kid into some random costume and strollering them around the neighborhood trick or treating with a 2 year old, I was home handing out candy. I’m sure I began the scaring process to my daughter very early because I’m a Halloween Hater. Seriously, though, if the child is in a stroller do they really need 18 pounds of candy? Or is that an excuse for mama to get a smorgasbord of sugar-laden goodness all in the name of holiday fun? I’d much rather go out and just by the candy I like and not have to beg the neighbors for their crappy penny-candy.

And so, another Halloween goes by. And for the third year in a row, BabyGirl has gone trick or treating with me in tow. The first year we went to about 5 houses before she got bored. I was thinking ‘WooHoo, she’s got my genes!’. Last year we hit our block and the houses behind us before BabyGirl had had enough. Although I think it had more to do with one of the neighbor boys being rude and foolish than the whole trick or treating thing. On Sunday, though, we hit 4 blocks.  BabyGirl looked adorable and was polite and gracious. But then she got bored and wanted to just pass out the candy, so home we came.

Maybe I’m on to something. Let BabygGirl hang out with crazy boys who just want to yell random things and ignore her and pretty soon she’ll tire of this whole trick or treating nonsense. It could work!

So why am I telling you this now? Two days after Halloween? Well, because I didn’t want you teasing me about my general indifference toward Halloween. I figured you’d be hopped up on chocolate and sugar that by time Halloween rolls around next year you’ll have forgotten all about this due to having been in a sugar-induced coma. Even if only for a short time.

What do you think? Am I crazy? Should I just embrace Halloween or continue to be non-plussed by the costumed spectacle of candy asking-ness?